Figure09
by DataIntegrationThoughtEntity
Summary: A large green insectoid being roamed towards the towering building in front of him, lingering whenever he came close to the entrance. Songfic.


**Author's Notes: **Um… more angst. Yep, there's way too much Vakama or Nidhiki angst around here, and now I've written one of each. Whoot. LOL I got bored today, cuz no one's online.

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own Bionicle. Deal. Song is 'Figure.09', by… (guess who?) Linkin Park! LOL Cuz it fits. Sorta. :P

A large green insectoid being roamed towards the towering building in front of him, lingering whenever he came close to the entrance. So he walked in circles around the door, muttering to himself nervously. The thought of facing what was behind those doors frightened him.

He soon felt an angry hand on his shoulder. "Nidhiki, let's go in." It was more of an order than anything else.

He spun around angrily, glaring. His pincers snapped once or twice. "Krekka, I'm the brains of the bunch, remember? **I** give the orders."

But the large brute held his ground. "Don't keep the Shadowed One waiting."

_Nothing ever stops all these thoughts and the pain attached to them  
Sometimes I wonder why this is happening  
It's like nothing I can do would distract me when  
I think of how I shot myself in the back again  
'Cause from the infinite words I could say I  
Put all pain you gave to me on display  
But didn't realize instead of setting it free I  
Took what I hated and made it a part of me_

And the sound of that name, Nidhiki suddenly felt as if his legs were incapable of supporting his body. The Shadowed One. He was the leader of the organization, and it was all his fault, everything that had ever happened to the once proud Toa of Air. _  
_

He gaze fell to the ground. If the Dark Hunters had never decided to build their base on Metru Nui, the war would've never occurred. He would've never had to watch his fellow Toa die desperately. He would've never been caught and given a tempting offer. Yet all that had happened.

He had been obeying his survival instinct, dammit! He didn't want to die, and Lhikan had called him a filthy selfish traitor for it. Well not everyone was capable of being a selfless hero all the time. Besides, Lhikan had never been put in the same situation as him. He had it easy. Everything was black or white to him; he had never seen the gray in between. He never had to see it.

_(Never goes away)  
(Never goes away)_

The door was suddenly thrown open with so much force that Nidhiki jumped. Roodak sneered back at him. "You're late."

Nidhiki gave no reply, instead walked past her, not looking her in the eye. It was her fault he was still here. He could've ran and redeemed himself, maybe somewhat repair the lost friendship between him and Lhikan, though it would've been hard and full of suspicion. But instead he had been horribly mutated beyond recognition. And into a **bug**, no less. He hated them, those multi-legged creatures who couldn't walk upright, but crawled. Crawled.

_(And now)  
(You've become a part of me)  
(You'll always be right here)  
(You've become a part of me)  
(You'll always be my fear)  
(I can't separate)  
(Myself from what I've done)  
(Giving up a part of me)  
(I've let myself become you)  
_

He was brought before the Shadowed One, who glared down at him. "What took so long?"

The insectoid being avoided his glare. "Sir," he declared politely, trying to keep his voice level, "the Toa escaped."

The Shadowed One shook his head. "Nidhiki, Nidhiki… oh, what shall I do with you? This is the third time that Toa of Air has slipped from your grasp."

Nidhiki's yellowed eyes momentarily flickered with anger. The Shadowed One taunted Dark Hunters regularly, for his own pleasure. It was despicable. And the words came out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

_Hearing your name the memories come back again  
I remember when it started happening  
I see you in every thought I had and then  
The thoughts slowly found words attached to them  
And I knew as they escaped away  
I was committing myself to them and everyday  
I regret saying those things cuz now I see that I  
Took what I hated and made it a part of me_

"Why do you mock me, sir? Am I not your loyal servant?"

_(Never goes away)  
(Never goes away)_

The Shadowed One wasn't the least bit shaken by his open act of defiance. "Let me ask you this, Nidhiki: why do **you** mock your prey? Do you enjoy seeing the fear, the anger in their expressions? Do you enjoy crushing their defiance, destroying all hope? Do you enjoy the desperation in their eyes, caused by you, and only you? Does it make you feel **powerful**?" 

(And now)  
(You've become a part of me)  
(You'll always be right here)  
(You've become a part of me)  
(You'll always be my fear)  
(I can't separate)  
(Myself from what I've done)  
(Giving up a part of me)  
(I've let myself become you)

Nidhiki creased his brow. _I'm not a monster like him. _"I'm a Toa-hero!" he declared, burning with rage. "I'm not like you! I'm **nothing** like you!"

_(Never goes away)  
(Never goes away)  
(Never goes away)  
(Never goes away)_

He braced himself for some violent lash. It never came. Instead, to his surprise, the Shadowed One actually laughed. His smile was more torturous than anything else he had ever put the former Toa through. All the physical pain in the world was nothing compared to the thought that he had **amused** the Shadowed One, the one he poured all his hate towards.

(Get away from me)  
Give me my space back you gotta just  
(Go)  
Everything comes down the memories of  
(You)  
I've kept it in but now I'm letting you  
(Know)  
I let you go so get away from  
(Me)  
Give me my space back you gotta just  
(Go)  
Everything comes down the memories of  
(You)  
I've kept it but now I'm letting you  
(Know)  
I let you go

"Correction, Nidhiki: you **were **a Toa. But you gave that up now, didn't you? Toa are heroic stubborn things. You don't exactly fit that description. Everything I just said is true, isn't it? There's no other reason for such an outburst. Now get out of here." 

(And now)  
(You've become a part of me)  
(You'll always be right here)  
(You've become a part of me)  
(You'll always be my fear)  
(I can't separate)  
(Myself from what I've done)  
(Giving up a part of me)  
(I've let myself become you)

Leaving Krekka to recount the details of their mission to the Shadowed One, Nidhiki exited, his heart heavy. The Shadowed One was right. Everything he said **was** true, and it **hurt**. He did enjoy fearful and angry expressions directed at him. He did enjoy crushing hope, defiance. He liked causing desperation. He loved the feeling of power. And then it struck him. Forget about the gray area in between. Maybe Lhikan had been right, and everything truly was white and black. And he had fallen from the light, and had succumbed to the darkness. The temptation was too great for him, and he had only himself to blame for that.

_I've let myself become you  
I've let myself become lost inside these thoughts of you  
Giving up a part of me, I've let myself become you_

It was too late for him. He was just as bad, if not worse, than the Shadowed One. He was a monster.

**Author's Notes: **Love this song. :) Linkin Park ish da bestest! LOL


End file.
